I Got Nothing

writers-block-PeanutsWriting is hard.

Sometimes. This time. Right now.

Other times, it is a breeze; it is a joy. It is as natural as breathing.

But not now.

I am not lacking in ideas. I have plenty of those, and they just keep coming. I just simply don’t have the focus. Or the drive.

This doesn’t happen to me very often. But I am currently sitting inside the eye of the motivation-draining perfect storm.

For one, I teach part time, and even though I absolutely love being in the classroom, the other benefit of my classes is that they give a foundational structure to my week. I only work three days a week, but that is enough to provide a trellis to grow my writing around.

School ended a couple of weeks ago. I am struggling without it, despite my complaints that it was cutting into my writing time. My days are wide open, and the distractions are plentiful.

Screen Shot 2016-02-28 at 6.47.51 PM
They gotta love this, right?!?!

Then in the beginning of May, I finished the latest draft of my screenplay and sent it out to attract investors. So in my mind, that meant putting the script away on the shelf while I waited. Of course, this is always good periodically. Get some distance; develop some objectivity.

Word from the investors is that they are thinking about it. I’m not sure what exactly that means, but I definitely know that that is a lot better than “No thanks!”

So I have some ideas of areas to fix, to tweak, to change, but I am still busy getting some distance.

Also, during these past few weeks, I participated in an intensive transformational writer’s workshop. It was amazing, inspiring, life-changing. Coming off of it,  I was completely motivated, especially to begin working on a new project that has been in my head and on 25 pages in a buried file on my computer for ten years.

But rather than dive in on the following Monday, I crashed. I crashed for three days. At first, I was concerned. How could I have been so high only to drop so low? And then I remembered. I had done another transformational workshop, one having nothing to do with writing, with a group of friends. And none of us were prepared for the crash we all experienced after that. So this is familiar territory.

genius
My workshop group – all geniuses!

The other problem I am struggling with is finding a place to write. Evidently, I have convinced myself that my brilliance does not manifest when I am at home. Actually, this is not entirely true. I just don’t like sitting alone at home in the silence, at my desk, facing the wall. Besides, I get easily distracted by my dog or the pile of laundry.

starbucks
My favorite

I like writing at Starbucks. I am incredibly productive at Starbucks. But it feels tortuous to sit in a Starbucks and not order a mocha frappuccino with whipped cream. And quite honestly, I don’t want to have to spend money every time I want to write.

Then I have the problem of trying to figure out which Starbucks to go to – there are a dozen that I know of within a 15-minute drive. The one on Tampa is full of middle school kids. The one on Hayvenhurst is the one where someone brazenly stole my wallet out of my purse as I went to grab a napkin. I won’t go back there. The one on Louis is ALWAYS packed – it’s hit or miss when it comes to finding a seat. The one on Van Nuys is so small I feel claustrophobic. The one on Shoup is my favorite, but it seems so silly to pass by multiple Starbucks just to get to that one.

Often, I am paralyzed by the choice, and I just head out, figuring I will land where the wind blows me. Do I need to tell you that more than once I have driven around for awhile and then just end up back at home anyway?

I tried out the local public library a few times. That was ok. But I tend to write in long blocks, and I could not bring food or drink in. That was a problem. And the quietness of the library simply magnifies the distraction of those who are snoring, watching music videos with earbuds but at full blast, reading books to groups of children (as cute as they are).

library
My local library. A little girl put all of the stuffed animals in chairs so that she could read to them. Then her mom told her it was time to go. So cute! (But what is with Mickey Mouse literally hanging by his neck from the ceiling??)

(I think what I am going to do going forward is to put on my calendar at the beginning of the week where I will go to write for each day. Then maybe I won’t waste so much time thinking about where I should go.)

All I know is that this has to end. It is time to get to work. It is time to write, whether I want to or not.

I have two blog posts, including one of my interview with Kelly Raymer, a friend of mine and the producer of the award-winning “Fragile Storm.”

I have improvements that need to be made to Captain and the Greyhounds. No matter what any investor, or anyone else for that matter, says about the movie, these changes will make it better. I need to just do them.

And I have my novel, which currently exists of only 25 pages and a powerful vision and message.

Thanks for indulging me today. I think this is the kick I need to refocus. There is work to be done! And I am committing right now. Tomorrow, I am dusting off my screenplay and heading out to the Starbucks on Shoup.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taking it to the Field: Research Part 1

TucsonFor one section of my screenplay in particular, first-hand research would be necessary. The only problem was that the research would require a trip to Tucson, Arizona. But it was a trip I knew I would need to take at some point.

Part of my movie takes place at a greyhound track. There was a time when greyhound racing was the sixth most popular sporting event in the country, and race tracks dotted the map. But the heyday of greyhound racing is long gone, and most of the tracks are closed. Only a few are scattered across the country, with the majority of those that are still open in Florida.

Tucson Greyhound Park is the one closest to the West Coast, so I set my sights on traveling there.

Continue reading “Taking it to the Field: Research Part 1”

Screenwriting Secret: Don’t Relieve the Tension

gmail, checking emailI’m feeling the tension! And seeking relief.

I keep nervously checking my email. Way too often.

But I can’t help myself. I am waiting for feedback on my screenplay. Yet again.

I just spent the past two months on a new rewrite, making some adjustments requested from a group of investors who took a look at it back in February. They want more tension. My response to that was, “Yeah. No kidding.”

Continue reading “Screenwriting Secret: Don’t Relieve the Tension”

Preparing for My First Interview

Mike Lizaraga, Michael Lizaraga, screenwriting, The Shell, student, writing, short story, horror genreI am meeting with Mike Lizarraga tonight for my first interview for this blog!  The reason he is my first is actually a great story, so I wanted to share that with you beforehand.

I have taught college English for 20 years. But like everyone else, there is always that first semester. In fact, I just spoke with my niece Josie the other day as she is finishing her first year as a teacher (she teaches fourth grade, something I think only saints or crazy people can do!).

Talking to her reminded me of my first class. Continue reading “Preparing for My First Interview”

Captain.on.track 2.0

celebrate, version 2.0, captainontrack, screenwriting, blogging, blogIt’s here! Version 2.0! It may seem a bit early to be coming out with my new version, but as a writer, I am never opposed to revising.

And just like I am a beginner at screenwriter, I am actually a beginner at blogging. So this is a learn as you go project, and I decided it was time to make some changes.

The first change is to my address. My new domain is theaspiringscreenwriter.com

This will still be my journey to the red carpet, but I am going to take you along with me. I want you to finish your screenplay and to invite us all to your premiere party or your first screening or your debut film festival showing.

I will continue to take you with me as I navigate this process, but I am also going to bring in other people’s stories. If there is one thing I have learned so far, it is that there is no “right” way to make a movie, there is not just “one” way. So I want to share as many ways as possible.

In the future, in addition to my posts, look for interviews and links to helpful information. I am so excited about this new direction! And I look forward to everyone’s input.

 

My Attempt to Respond to “Fear”

fear, roller coaster, scared, emotional roller coasterI am sitting at Starbucks, fearful that I have not been productive enough last week. So I am using the day to alleviate that fear and to write. When I come here, my routine is always the same, even though I need to change it. I log on to the wifi, check MSN for headlines in case anything momentous happened over night, check email, and check Facebook. The last check is the one I need to discontinue, except for today!

The first post came from a friend, an actual friend, not a virtual friend: Kelly Raymer. And it was a link to his latest blog post, I am guessing, sitting in a coffee shop on the other side of town. I was going to comment on it, but I had too much to say. Here is his post: Fear.

Continue reading “My Attempt to Respond to “Fear””

Doing Dreams the Right Way

Emily, selfie
See. This is what she does to me.

My daughter Emily and I went to Starbucks together to get some work done – I had writing to finish, and she had studying to complete. What a mistake! I always forget that I never get anything done when we go together. There’s too much watching people, sharing funny tweets, taking selfies (she is the one taking selfies, not me! Although she often gets me in the background, unbeknownst to me), noticing cute dogs outside, and doing whatever else keeps us from our tasks at hand.

Then she had to show me her favorite all-time video. She  was giddy as she queued it up and untangled the ear buds. She then handed me one as she placed the other in her ear. Here it is:

Continue reading “Doing Dreams the Right Way”

An Idea You Can Steal from Old People

The Met, older couple, holding hands, never too old
No, this isn’t Nick. But I took this at The Met because I loved seeing this couple soaking up life.

And I don’t mean me! This is something I am stealing from an old person, or at least someone older than me.

Here it is: You can start over at any age.

Today I met an 81-year-old man named Nick. He is a writer. However, he does not call himself a writer.  But a few years ago he started over and started writing. So, he is a writer.

We crossed paths because he was looking for an editor, a role I have played more than a few times in my life. We spoke briefly on the phone and settled on meeting at Starbucks (I know, not very original! But to those who have read my earlier post on Starbucks, you will be proud of me because I did NOT order a Medium Mocha Frappachinno with whipped cream! Yay me!).

I knew nothing about him other than he would be wearing a white hat. 

Continue reading “An Idea You Can Steal from Old People”

Why the Search for Normal Is Paralyzing

what-is-normal-Google-Search-1I know writing. I have been doing it for a long time. I know how to get published in magazines, in newspapers, on websites. I’ve done that. And it was fairly easy to figure out. I know how to get a book published. I have written a couple and have a couple ideas for future books. Now, I have not actually published either book. But I spent a lot of time trying to get published and getting rejected. Of course, today, I would just self-publish. Unfortunately, at the time, self-publishing still carried a huge stigma. You know. It wasn’t  “normal.” So I have no books selling on Amazon.

But making a movie?? A complete mystery. And a very expensive mystery.

Continue reading “Why the Search for Normal Is Paralyzing”

Pitchers and Pitching

I love baseball.12

My only explanation for that is that I am from St. Louis. How
could I grow up in St. Louis and not come out a baseball fan?? I am not sure it is even possible.

Not only do I love going to the games, keeping score (or sometimes not!), eating a plain hotdog – no mustard or ketchup here! – and having a Budweiser, but I love using baseball as a metaphor for life. Ever since my son started playing (and yes, I was one of those moms who had him in t-ball at the tender age of 4), I have come to realize just how many lessons baseball can afford us in our every day lives.

Continue reading “Pitchers and Pitching”